Ten moments that defined the Conference era

1. Matt Day’s piledriver against St Albans
Relegation was a blip. Our return to the league was simple, all we had to do was beat everyone and go up as champions by Christmas. On a barmy September night, it was St Albans’ turn to go all the way down in Oxford-town. It was an enjoyable romp as we led and they equalised. A minute later Matt Day weaved his way through their defence and, 30 yards out put his laces through the ball, slamming it past the keeper and into the net. Afterwards I heard a defeated Saints fan telling someone how great it had been. It was like watching the Harlem Globetrotters.

2. A minute of madness at Wycombe
Unbeaten, we marched on Wycombe in the Cup. This was the moment when the naysayers would be silenced. At first it worked well; we matched them toe-to-toe. They scored but we equalised. For a minute we were back in the big time and we filled Adams Park with songs of victory. Whilst backslapping and telling each other stories of the bad old days, Wycombe popped down our end, scored, and put us back on the naughty step.

3. Sheer joy of Dagenham
The title had gone, but this was about bragging rights, which, in the street tough world of the Conference counted for so much more. The arrival of champions elect Dagenham was the perfect opportunity to show what marauding brawlers we’d become. We all turned up in heady expectation but despite good early pressure, we conceded early. Then Jim Smith introduced Yemi Odubade, he trotted on and ripped a hole in the time/space continuum with his fat arse. What we saw through the seam was a world where football was fun. Yemi scored one, then lobbed in another from forty yards. There were smiles and no teeth grinding. For 10 minutes it was magical.

4. Rob Duffy’s back pass against Exeter
We limped into the play-offs with the blind faith that we had destiny on our side. This was confirmed when we took a lead into the home leg of the semi-final. We weren’t playing well, but conspired to go two-up. The edifice began to crumble and we conceded twice forcing the game into extra time. Suddenly Rob Duffy broke clear and was bearing down on goal. In a moment of clarity he chose to release us all from the whole sorry façade. Rather than pop the ball in the net and send us to Wembley, he said ‘fuck it, I can’t let this go on’ and rolled the ball into the keepers’ hands.

5. Gnohere hands it to Aldershot
With Dagenham gone; the indefatigable logic was that the 2007/8 title was ours. If there was ever proof, our indifferent form through August and September confirmed that this title was going to be won with a thrilling post-Christmas sprint. If you said it enough, you believed it. Aldershot were the nerdy cousin you haven’t seen for years turning up to a family party looking like an FHM cover girl. Their fans were louder, their flags cooler. But despite this, it was OK, we were Oxford - champions elect. We took them on as equals until the 15th minute, when the big lump of a defender Arthur Gnohere inexplicably batted a cross away with his hand. And that was that. The season was over. In September.

6. Joe Burnell’s reducer versus Cambridge
We drifted into our third season, looking increasingly clueless. The season opened with away and home defeats. Following a win against Eastbourne, we drew two home games and lost another. High-flying Cambridge arrived on a warm September night with home form looking like used toilet paper. Seconds in, Joe Burnell took one for the team with a booking off a crunching tackle. This set the tone for a storming 3-1 win. We lost one more game at home all season. It took a better man than Burnell to turn this acorn into an oak, but this is where it all started.

7. Adam Chapman’s curler at Burton
By this point we were rampaging in a balls out, machete weilding banzai attack on the play-offs. One limb had been ripped off by the Conference’s disciplinary panel but we continued, maddened by the injustice and possessed by unfettered belief. The run had been thrilling, but it was all about to end, because we had to conform to the convention of letting the champions seal their title at in front of their own fans. Albion were hosting their promotion party when our gang turned up, drank all the beer, punched the arrogant jock, snogged his girlfriend, bent in a 20 yard free kick from Adam Chapman and drove off on our Harley Davison chopper.

8. Luton and the true carrier of hope
Don’t tell the morale majority, but the best games are ones that should be all-ticket, but aren’t. Luton was chaotic; people couldn’t park and the North Stand was a war zone. The crowd tipped over the 10,000 mark. The story, however, was already written; our deadliest Conference rivals were in town and our form was good. Surely this was set up for perfect failure. But Jamie Cook, the neo-Beauchamp and a time traveller from the good times, was back in the fold. Receiving the ball on the right, he feinted before guiding it into the bottom left hand corner. ‘Probably the best goal I’ve ever seen’ said the bloke next to me.

9. Injury time in parallel universes
In one paradigm, at Crawley, we look certain to forego our position at the top of the league with a defeat. In seven minutes we equalise, throw away the opportunity for victory and then reclaim it deep into injury time. In the other, at Luton, we lead and look certain to plunge a dagger into the hearts of one of our title rivals. First we throw two points away, then the third. We meet triumph and disaster, and treat the two impostors the same. It made us men, my son.

10. Potter, Deering, Potter
Potter to Deering, Deering to Potter, Potter shoots. Era over.

News Round Up: The retained list

No major surprises in the elegantly named ‘retained’ list. Carl Pettefer was always a bit of an oddity; he did that Paul Scholes industriousness really well but neither Jim Smith nor Darren Patterson seemed to like him. Maybe it was wages, injuries or attitude, but something prevented him from being a more permanent member of the squad.

You always knew when Eddie Hutchinson was about to get injured because he started playing well. His eager bluster did little to disguise a lack of quality. He may have been a useful player to throw in at times of crisis, but salary meant carrying a rarely needed footballing Kate Aide was a luxury too far.

Rob Duffy, The Enigma, will no doubt be seen trotting up and down the touchline as a substitute for some aspirant promotion hopeful in the coming months - “Ooh, he scored over 20 goals for Oxford one year”. His defining moment was his one-on-one against Exeter, the moment he tamely rolled the ball into the arms of the keeper was the moment his Oxford career was effectively over.

The Danny Rose brand – Ex-Captain of Manchester United Reserves – fooled many a Kassam regular who would obliquely comment on how much we needed his ‘creativity’. The sad truth is, as small and cute as he looks, he just wasn’t up to the job.

Richards and Blackwood never looked likely to stay long. Jamie Hand was improving and one wonders whether Patterson may have another look at him if he’s still available in August. One must question just how long Chris Willmott’s contract is for. I was sure his name would eventually surface.

The biggest surprise was probably Craig McCallister; who I thought was a useful foil for speed freaks like Yemi and Matt Green. Whilst he was never going to net 20 goals a season, his ability to hold the ball up and link up with the midfield allowed us to control games much better than we did with the sauntering Duffy.

What’s more, I don’t think we’ll keep Matt Green, it feels like his gaze has gone elsewhere already and there’s a long summer and a lot of clubs looking to take a chance on a half decent striker ahead. With only the recently revitalised Yemi staying, but still not fully redeemed, we could start next season right back where we started.

News round-up - Six to go

So Patto’s unleashed a can of whoopass on the squad. It’s a risk, of that there’s no doubt, he’s effectively conceded the season and now may not be a good time to unsettle the squad. The timing is odd, coming just 2 weeks before the end of the transfer window so there’s every chance some of these will still be with the club come February; Patterson may end up relying on some of them as the season progresses. He’s made a clear statement to Merry and Smith that he’s his own man and he’s showing a lot of faith in the players he’s brought in; neither of which have had time to settle.

The move is apparently driven as much by finances as by ability. Focus has been put on areas which are clearly over-resourced – the middle of midfield (Pettefer, Hutchinson) and defence (Corcoran and Day).

Both Pettefer and Hutchinson have shown what they can do, but never more than in bits and pieces. Hutchinson has a habit of looking good just before falling to injury. Pettefer’s work rate hides a deficiency in ability. Day’s fitness and work rate has slowly eroded and he’s a shadow of the goofy goal showboater of early last season. Duffy is an enigma, but his work rate is more than exposed by McCallister’s arrival. These four were characterised by the fact they all need the help of others in order to perform.

Corcoran might feel himself unlucky. His performances have been solid and he’s young. He’s been more reliable than the retained Danny Rose and fitter than the expensive Chris Willmott. These two, plus Yemi, Trainer, Ledgister will be breathing easier as all could have a strong case for the boot. Robinson has only avoided the list because he's crocked.

The biggest surprise of all is probably Alex Jeannin. Whilst hardly a roaring success, he is the only naturally left sided player, he’s just had a contract extension and he can deliver a cross or two. One can only think (hope) that Patterson has a replacement lined up.

News round-up

Six weeks is often a euphemism in football for A Long Time. When I damaged ankle ligaments playing football, six weeks was the rest period that was diagnosed. There was another four weeks of recuperation. Only after 10 weeks was I allowed to do any high impact activity. Add the need to get match sharpness – not something I needed, obviously – six weeks can easily mean three months.

So, there’s a worry that the six weeks diagnosed for Duffy’s broken arm and Eddie Anaclet’s knee ligaments could be considerably longer.

Duffy is an enigma; a goalscorer who doesn’t look like he’ll score. Penalties are his stock-in-trade, so it’s this, rather than his open play that’ll be missed. In truth, however, Gary Twigg looked competent from the spot against Forest Green.

The loss of Anaclet means the loss of pace down the right. In a team so devoid of pace, this is a blow. Presumably Matt Day will move out to the right allowing Willmott to slot into the middle. Yemi will have to drop into midfield, with Twigglet and Shaw playing up front.

There are other permutations, of course, but the absence of Duffy means Shaw is going to be needed up front to partner Twigglet. A Yemi/Twigglet combination is too small. There’s always Marvin Robinson, of course.

Rose, who also looks to be struggling with an injury, is not creative enough in midfield. Anaclet is able to bring the ball out of defence and turn it into attack. Yemi, though less cultured on the ball, is going to have to do that work.