I’ve been reading about ice ages recently. Apparently we’re in one at the moment, which is one reason I’ve ordered extra logs for my wood burner. Thankfully we’re in a fairly mild period of an ice age which means we’re not all dying a horrible death. At least not yet.
One of the startling things about ice ages is just how quickly the earth can go from our current survivable climate to a solid ice ball that perishes us all. Geological periods are typically measured in millions on years, but it is possible for an ice age to engulf us in as little as a decade. Think about that for a moment; imagine watching Andy Burgess skulk around the Kassam in 2006 completely unaware that a decade later we wouldn’t be beating Swindon (again) we’d be encrusted in ice.
In simple terms, which is pretty much the only terms I work in, if the temperature drops to really quite chilly and it becomes icey, as it does most winters, the sun’s rays rebound off the white surface of the earth and back into the atmosphere. The sun doesn’t melt anything so the ice builds up and the planet cools causing the ice to build up some more. Before you know it we’re all buried in metres of ice and football is postponed for several millions of years.
The point is that we are living in a narrow band of time which allows us to thrive, but that could quickly change and the world could return to the state it was in millions of years ago. Nothing is fixed, everything operates in a cycle.
On Saturday, our win over Bolton was seen as a sign that we are, in the words of the song, on our way back. Just 10 years ago we were in the Conference and they were beating Liverpool in the Premier League, now we’re equals.
However, while the Macron Stadium provides the facade of Premier League class, Bolton haven’t stood still while we’ve climbed the divisions. They’ve fallen as far as we’ve risen. In truth, teams orbit each other meeting periodically before heading off in different directions. Some come into contact on a regular basis, others less frequently. Some, like Chelsea or Manchester City can invest billions to break their natural trajectory, but most can't do that. Bolton were semi-regular visitors to the Manor during the 80s, then they headed to the Premier League before heading back down the divisions.
This is a shock to some Bolton fans – teams ‘like’ Bolton shouldn’t be beaten by teams ‘like’ Oxford. Bolton are in shock in the same way we were in the Conference and the way Portsmouth were in League 2. They don’t feel they belong in the environment they are in, but they keep getting beaten by teams who they think do.
League 1 is an elephant’s graveyard of teams suffering from the toxic shock that results from tasting brief glory before being catapulted back into oblivion.
In charge of Bolton ten years ago was that paragon of virtue Sam Allardyce, they were the club who proposed adding Celtic and Rangers to the Premier League, they’ve been part of the Premier League’s key moves to protect their status and break the natural law. But, ultimately they failed. Sadly for their fans they are heading for a great ice age while we seem to be warming up nicely.