No-news round up

The summer of slumber springs into life tomorrow when our programme of pre-season friendlies start. Sadly, the brand building tour of South East Asia has fallen through, so it's off to South Oxfordshire instead and a trip to Didcot Town. Those crazy enough to actually go to the game are likely to see the the debuts of our three new signings, who joined up after a bit of a stand off this week. You can just imagine them playing it cool when offered their deals, going out to scream with excitement into a towel, before sauntering back in to put pen to paper.

The new squad numbers have been announced; Michael Jordan and David Beckham are joined by The Twigglet in wearing the iconic number 23 shirt. And so the trinity is complete. The Big Zebrowski looks destined to never don the famous faded yellow shirt again as he looks to do a Tim Sills and head for Hereford. I can think of no higher praise than to say that Zebroski may be a bit better than Sills.

And this is about as exciting as it gets; no signings, no sign of signings... perhaps the wintery weather is confusing poor Jim Smith who probably thinks that he's deep in mid-season with the transfer window tightly closed.

Mind you, the confusion doesn't end there. The Setanta Sports deal is playing absolute havoc with the fixtures; Thursdays have had great things thrust upon them; the dawning of the Friday Feeling and Top of the Pops, for example, but football is not one of them. Football on a Thursday is just plain weird; the fact it also means that Saturday games could be switched to a Sunday means its a bloody mess.

Jim Smith has 'hit out' at the new arrangements - rumour has it he was loudly chastising the "bloody idiots who run this Godforsaken league" in the pub toilets before seeing new Blue Square Premier Director Mick Brown sheepishly coming out of one of the cubicles. "Do you think he heard me?" said Jim, possibly.